"In the end, you start thinking about the beginning…"

"Second chances doesn’t always mean a happy ending. Sometimes, it’s just another shot at ending things better."

"Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we’ll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain."

Unfaithfulness

Infidelity can really make a person go crazy & make them do things beyond their conscience. Never play with people’s emotions— even if your motive is to “be a good friend.” The other person may see it differently. Actions speak louder than words… Always remember who your faithfulness & loyalty lies to. Regardless of the circumstances, it’s best to be truthful. Not to mention, you’ll earn more respect that way & you won’t have to worry about hurting anyone.

This is the happiest I’ve been.. Man, no more of that huge distraction of last year. I haven’t seen “it” so it must be gone for good :) As long as “it’s” out, it’s all good :) I’m loving life right now ..

That moment when you’re finally able to put the past behind & feel the happiness beginning to fulfill again, the ugly truth reveals itself</3 Nothing’s worst than deceiving the person you claim to “love” — It is incredibly sad to know that there has been someone else gradually & mutually holding the heart of one another.. To my distress, how could whom I’ve called “my love” has been the one taking the initiative of everything I’ve been against this entire time? Betrayal. Being in this position clearly broke me this year, it doesn’t matter what anyone says.. No one will truly understand this anguish & this pain unless you’re in the situation. I am disgusted with myself, pretty embarrassed too if you asked. I’ve been right all along about the two, but failed to accept it. At the end of the day, no matter what I say or how I feel, I must accept the fact that I am not the only heart, the only woman in the life of whom I’ve loved so unconditionally. All of the mistakes I’ve made, the worries & uneasiness, the nightmares, the tears I’ve shed, the fights because of this.. Doesn’t that speak a thing? =/ I’ve came to the conclusion that clearly, in spite of the effect this all had upon me— it really doesn’t matter because that individual will still remain to be a significant. The question I am now asking myself is, who am I really in his eyes? Am I still the same “love” told to the fellow friends, even when I’m not around? Regardless of the fact that every moments have been spent together… How do you know you’re everything to someone when there is a third party involved that they’re claiming to love, too, though deny it in front of your face? All I really want is a straight, honest answer.. Not a response to please my hearings or an apology.. Just why… If it’s too late that one has already fallen deeply for the third party, then my time is up, but I must know than to be continually led on. I’m baffled. I’m crushed to the bones & shattered to my soul. A cut so deep in my veins that— Regardless of how much I don’t want a repeat, it is the curse of this horrible summer.. :’( I’m ready to close this chapter of 2011.. & 2012, I know you will treat me much better.

I am so overwhelmed with these unwanted thoughts.